Anxiety

I am an anxious person. I admit it. My anxieties started as a child. In particular, I was scared of both the upstairs and the basement in my parents house. I always thought that someone or something was hiding around the corner to get me. I used to send my little brother upstairs before me to be sure there was nothing up there to get me. Fast forward to my "adulthood". I sit at home alone in the evenings with Delaney and Alison, convinced that someone is watching me through the windows, profiling my actions or living in the bathroom in my basement just waiting for the right time to strike. My trips outside of the living room are kept to a minimum unless Carl is home.

I think that my anxieties stem both from my love of scary movies and from my husband's addiction to shows like CSI. This morning, standing in the shower at the gym, I had my very own CSI- like moment. This moment illustrates the epitome of my anxieties.

It is the day before Thanksgiving and most of the students are packing up to go home for the holiday. Michael and I were the only two people in the gym this morning. As I walked into the big locker room all by myself after our workout, I heard a shower on in the shower room. I reluctantly took off my clothes, wrapped up in my towel, grabbed my shampoo and soap and walked slowly into the shower room. No one! I took my shower with half of the curtain open so I could see most of the room. I had visions of someone, running around the corner with some sort of blunt object or even an ax planning to murder me (right out of a scene from CSI). Needless to say, nothing happened to me during my shower, I dressed quickly, dried my hair even faster, and headed back out into the hallway.

Unfortunately, episodes like the one this morning at the gym will continue to run through my head, and will not deter me from watching the shows and movies that inspire them. It is moments like this that now make me think of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with my "well adjusted" friend Brian who does not watch ANY scary movies. Maybe scary movies do contribute to my "lack of adjustment".