On being a woman this year....

I have spent the past month or so reflecting on what it means to be a woman. For one of my courses this semester I read "The Labyrinth" which explained a change for women in the workforce. It suggests (and I agree) that there is no longer a glass ceiling, rather a labyrinth that women need to navigate to get to the top. The book had a large chapter devoted to motherhood and how it played into this tricky navigation scenerio. I'm usually pumped after reading femininst books, ready to work hard and make a difference, but this book had a different effect. I finished feeling somewhat doomed and defeated. The book basically said that the idea of "balance" is phooey (which I agree with, I think balance is a personal thing and something that you have to make for yourself. its not necessarily some ideal that is sensationalized so often). But they presented the idea of balance as something that is completely fictional all together. The authors listed "things" that trip women up on their way to the top, and many of these negatives I consider positives...my kiddos and my husband being biggies. Another of my classmates presented the idea of the lobster starting in a pot of cold water slowly brought to a boil. Evidentally the lobster doesn't realize its boiling. My classmate encouraged us, especially the women in the class to aviod this scenerio. She wanted us to constantly consider opportunities and not to become complacent. So....after giving all of this A LOT of thought, I have converted some of the things I took away from this course into New Years resolutions for 2009. I considered my goals and what is important to me, paired with some other things I have read recently and come up with this:

1. Call my friends more often (some of my friends have heard the 3 day rule) and add more friends to my frequently called list. My friends are important to me and I consider them extensions of my family. They support me and keep me sane. Who knows where I would be without them. Taking some time out of each day to make a call will hopefully strengthen our relationships and become a calming and relaxing time for me.

2. (I stole this one partially from an author that I read frequently) Really enjoy things that are happening now that I will miss in 20 years. I found myself asking Laney and Alie to promise to always come home and relax in bed with me as they grow older. Its something that we love to do now, but may be something that will not last forever.

3. Practice the distinction between relaxation and recreation. I read a book earlier this year that I thought was really great. It was all about different ways for busy women to find peace in their lives and reduce their stress levels. It explained that people oftentimes confuse relaxation or down-time with just not working. While it is important to be involved in book clubs and other social groups, it is also important to really take some time to do something relaxing that you truly enjoy like reading, taking a bath, gardening or painting your nails. I resolve to take time for both!

4. I resolve to be healthier. 2008 served my family and I with our fair share of stressors. We have used the holiday break to discuss the type of things we really enjoy and how they fit into our current lifestyle. This year, I resolve to make the necessary diet and exercise changes for our family to live even healthier. This resolution is not about losing weight, it is more about creating the lifestyle that we plan to raise our children in, especially now that Laney and Alie are so involved in everything that we do. In keeping with resolution #1, I want them to always be surrounded by family and friends, learn healthful ways of eating, exercise and enjoy the outdoors.

These are the things that are imporant to me. I am happy with my professional life. Carl and I have been working hard to save for the things we will need in the future. I think that he and I have found the work-life balance that works for us...heavier on the life side and I don't believe that indicates complacency, just a different alignment of priorities. It has taken a few years, but I think we finally have our priorities all worked out. Happy New Year!